Life out in the real word doesn’t come with trigger warnings. At any time life could present us with a disturbing set of circumstances so it’s important that we arm ourselves with the necessary tools to ensure that we can maintain our balance when shit gets real. That’s where rituals and routines come in. Having something that you do every day regardless of your situation or environment serves as an anchor. It gives you stability in uncertain times and provides you an opportunity to reflect in gratitude in calmer, happier times.
For me, having a ritual allows me to be in observance of myself. To see myself not as someone just in the wind, blowing wherever the circumstances dictate but as a person with the ability to stay rooted and to honor the commitments I make to myself no matter what. That’s gone a long way in building my confidence and self-reliance. When I first moved to Austin I started taking walks in my neighborhood park every morning. I had no job, I was unsure of how my daughter would adjust to life in a new city and nothing was stable. It made me feel good that although I didn’t yet have a favorite breakfast place, didn’t know where to get my hair done, and had no established hangouts, I had my walk. The seasons changed and I had my walk. A few suitors came and left and I was still walking. I saw the older lady I usually greeted along the path who was always alone begin to pop up holding hands with a gentleman and gazing lovingly at him as they walked. Park lady had found a boo and I was still walking!
By creating this every day routine I was able to feel connected even though everything around me was changing. At different times in my life the ritual was different. In high school I would wake up and do 50 crunches, for a spell of my time in Vegas it was a cup of coffee and listening to James Brown. In Austin it’s been the walk. These days I don’t go to the park every morning but I do make it a priority to adhere to a daily ritual. Whether it’s simply listening to uplifting music, doing breathing exercises, practicing yoga or going for a run, any positive habit you can put into practice on an everyday basis is a step towards self accountability and the strength you need to be able to weather any storm.